Friday, 25 September 2009


Don't worry, you have not missed an update to the dictionary. Frusturbation is not an existing word (not to my knowledge at least), but it is a word that clearly describes a favorite activity of mine: masturbation for the sole purpose of increasing his frustration. That of course implies he is not allowed to cum. In fact, he won't even be allowed a ruined orgasm, all the cum stays where it belongs: inside his body.
There are so many techniques that can be used to make this very, very challenging for the boy in question that it is actually hard to describe. It also depends on the sensation I want him to have or how evil I am feeling. If I am feeling generous, I will tie him down to his bed while I play with his cock for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least an hour. Not non-stop mind you, because that will likely push him over the edge and cause him to spill his semen. That's not what we want! We want to increase his frustration. However, most of the time, I will not be feeling so generous and he will have to work to increase his own frustration.

A favourite for this is to just have him kneel in front of me naked and play with himself to my instructions. I will tell him to speed up, to slow down, to squeeze his penis harder or to just flick it with his fingers. As he is busy, I tease him with questions whether he would like to cum or not, how good it will feel if he is allowed to squirt.  All the while, I keep him in the dark about if he will be allowed to cum or not. Sometimes, when he has worked very hard to please me during a session like this, I will allow him to cum. Most of the time however, I don't allow it or will just allow him to ruin his orgasm. But allowing him these infrequent orgasms, encourages him to perform as well as he can, because he will never know if he won't get to cum today.

 Other times, when I don't want to spend a lot of time instructing him and seeing his balls bob up and down in front of me, I will tie him down to a chair and leave just his non-dominant hand untied. I will allow him to watch a porn movie like this (but only a movie that features submissive men) and he must continue stimulation throughout the entire movie. Since he is tied down, he is unable to hide any "accidents" from me and he knows that he will be punished soundly if there are any accidents! It's especially challenging with a vibrating butt plug added into the mix!

If I feel he needs some kind of punishment or just a general reminder of his status, I will add something special to the mix: Tiger balm for instance. I will first instruct him to apply a generous dose of the balm to his penis and also his balls. Then, he must begin stroking. Within a few minutes, the ointment will start to burn and irritate his very sensitive parts. It's a lot of fun to watch him squirm and wriggle in a hopeless effort to find relief from the burn. If I am feeling particularly evil that day, I will make him apply the Tiger balm a second or third time. There is such relief when I tell him he may stop stroking. His cock will be swollen and very tender after a while.

During one of these frusturbation-sessions,  I always insist that he is gagged. I don't want to hear his begging, pleading and moaning. He may beg me for release by his eyes alone. For extra 'fun' the gag will be a penis gag. :-)
Another thing that I insist upon is that at the end of the session, he consumes everything that his penis has leaked (unless he's been using the Tiger balm of course).  He must lick his hands clean of any dribble and if any landed on the floor, he'd better get on all fours and get his tongue to work. He finds that last bit very embarrassing, but of course he made the mess, so he needs to clean it up.

Oh, I almost forgot one important detail: if he has not been allowed to cum during the frusturbation session, I usually lock him in his chastity device for a while. After all, we don't want him to cheat, do we? Have fun trying this on your boy, if you like! Or if you are boy, make sure your Domme reads this post!


  1. You are great! I wish that you would return to posting.

  2. Hi Barbara - I've just happened across your blog and I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy it. Your writing is excellent, and your subject matter is music to my ears, especially your views on ejaculation control and/or frusterbation, as you so nicely put it. I too believe that orgasm control is absolutely basic to a D/s relationship.

    As for over the knee spanking, it's not something I do often to my husband. I prefer the use of various implements such as riding crops or paddles, and I especially like the sort of punishment that involves long periods of immobility with mental demands as well. It's one thing to have your man tied in awkward positions for a long period of time, and quite another thing to add the tasty technique of forcing him to compose essays or poetry in his mind that he'll have to verbalize to earn his way out of these positions. I love combining physical and mental punishments. Keeps the poor thing occupied in so many ways.

    At any rate, I hope you continue blogging. I sense a kindred spirit.

  3. Great! Hoping to hear more from the term "frustrubation"!!