Wednesday, 18 August 2010

BDSM in the open

It's about time that I wrote something again, so here it goes. As you may know from a comment I made under my previous post, Robert and I have been away on vacation. This means that we haven't really played much, but the dynamic did not leave our relationship. That, and he was kept in chastity for the entire time. I suppose that was the reason he was sometimes looking at some of the younger women present. That's his explanation for it anyway. We went to one of those all-in resorts, where you basically don't have to do anything all day. Not my usual choice of holiday destination, but I don't feel up yet to something more active. Travelling there was hard enough for me.

Basically, our holiday consisted of lounging in the shadow of a parasol, taking a swim in the pool or in the nearby Mediterranean and eating. It was warm enough to sleep outside at night, so one didn't have to move off of one's recliner.
Why am I telling you this? This is nothing special, of course. Many people visit such resorts. What was special was that on the second day, Robert directed my attention to a younger couple. At first glance, they were unremarkable. It was then that Robert pointed out her bottom to me, or rather, what was on her bottom. When I took a look, I could immediately see why he was interested in them. She was a cute girl, without a doubt, but on her bottom I could clearly make out crop marks. There were one or two on her thighs as well. They weren't very clear or pronounced, a few days old certainly. Having made plenty of crop marks myself, they were not difficult to recognize tough. From that moment, it became a way to pass the time, watching them secretly. We saw the way she acted around him. Not openly submissive in any way, but there were subtle though clear signs that she was his submissive. It was in the way she spoke to him, touched him, looked at him. Nothing too obvious and most likely not something a vanilla would notice.

They seemed to favour the same corner at the pool as us, which made observing them a bit easier. Now, I don't want you to think we were hiding in the bushes and looking at them through binoculars. But every now and then, I would glance at them over the top of my book. I remember that one morning they came to the pool, and she was wearing her usual bikini with a wrap around her waist, covering her down to her thighs. It was clear that she didn't wear that to hide her fat thighs, because she didn't have fat thighs. It immediately became obvious when she sat down and the wrap opened up a bit at the side: distinct red blotched on her visible bottom cheek. It was obvious she had been spanked shortly before.

I began thinking about the two of the them on holiday together and being so open about this aspect of their relationship. They were not open in an 'in-your-face' type of way. They were also not really hiding their games or lifestyle. I realized I felt admiration and something of jealousy for these young people being so comfortable with their way of life. Here Robert and I were, carefully hiding our lifestyle, being careful not to offend anyone and a little afraid that we would be seen as unacceptable by others. I felt I wanted some of their attitude. When I mentioned this to Robert, he agreed that he felt admiration too. We both wondered why exactly it was that we should hide in the shadows whereas this couple didn't. Should we be less paranoid about being found out? After all, if gay people are (in most modern societies and certainly where we live) more or less accepted, then why should we who practice BDSM have to hide? Are we so different and repulsive to vanillas? Surely not.

I have to admit that it was Robert who expressed curiosity about meeting them first. I was a bit more hesitant but he managed to tickle my curiosity enough to convince me. We decided that I would make contact with her, because woman to woman contact might be easier. When she got up to get drinks, I followed her. As she waited for her drinks, I stood next to her and said softly: "Those are some nice marks you have there."
I guess I scared her a little bit because she immediately pulled the wrap tightly around her. She then acted more or less innocently, but I reassured her by telling her that I understood and that I was one of her "kind". I pointed to Robert and told her that he was my submissive. Her attitude changed again and she became very polite. I could not help but smile because it was interesting to see her attitude change.

To make a long story short, she introduced me to her dominant. To the outside world, he was her fiancé but to her he was the man who owned her. I called Robert over and the four of us had a very entertaining afternoon. I explained to them our feelings as we had observed them, our spot of jealousy and admiration. She was a bit shocked that they had been obvious but he explained that while he didn't want to make people uncomfortable or shock them, he was comfortable enough with his lifestyle to live it. An attitude that is perhaps more healthy than my own, but then again, I grew up in a different time. He had introduced her to this lifestyle. While she had had submissive fantasies all of her life, he was the first man with whom she had explored them. So far, it had been difficult but also very exciting for her. I told them a bit about our relationship, about Robert being my submissive and I could not help but embarrass him by pointing out that he was locked in a chastity device. He (not Robert) laughed heartily at that, nodding approvingly. She was a bit taken aback but also felt admiration for Robert who was willing to make that sacrifice for me. She was a true gem and I consider her dominant very lucky to have found her. She will make an excellent submissive someday.
They left for home 2 days later, but we have exchanged email addresses, promising to keep in touch. I hope we have made new friends.

As for me, I think I have grown a bit through this experience. Perhaps BDSM is becoming more mainstream, more accepted than I thought. Perhaps I should not be so paranoid about hiding my Domme nature. Perhaps being "outed" is not the worst thing that can happen. Fortunately, I live in a society that is quite tolerant. Fortunately, we have the Internet nowadays, so more and more people who are interested in this lifestyle can find information. It is easier than ever to educate oneself about BDSM. We should be grateful for that. It is an excellent medium to educate people about us and our lifestyle.