A comment left by Susan' Pet yesterday, got me to think about something. I know many men out there are longing for a dominant woman. They are either single or in a relationship with a vanilla woman and their submissive desires go unfulfilled. Such a shame! It seems as there are just not enough Dommes to go around. But is that true?
I think there is certainly some truth to that. I remember from my own upbringing that I was often reminded that girls are supposed to be "sweet". They are certainly not supposed to be independent, strong willed, capable and bossy. And as they get older, it only gets worse. A woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to say it or get it, is often referred to as a bitch. Men who are in a relationship with such a woman are "pussy-whipped". The media do not have a favourable view of strong women, most of the time. I think this is too bad. If I had been confident and comfortable with being a strong willed woman, my life might have been different. It took me quite some time to accept myself as a dominant.
There are plenty of men who have problems with strong women. I have encountered this in my work many times. Some men just can't accept women in a position of authority. If you have to instruct them or call them to order, you are immediately viewed as a bitch. Even if you are just trying to do the job you have been hired to do. While most men pay lip service to the sentence "I don't have problems with working under a female boss", the reality is often different. That is not the kind of "lip service" I look for in a man.
Perhaps there are many more dominant woman out there. But because they have been trained from a young age to be sweet, they may never feel confident enough to explore their dominance. So when they are asked to be dominant, they may be taken aback, shocked even, because they are being asked to go against everything they have been taught. The reverse is true for submissive men, who wish to serve a woman. There is much shame associated with a man allowing himself to be dominated by a woman. Somehow, it appears to be "not natural".
If I may, (of course I may, it's MY weblog after all!) allow me to direct a few words at women who are asked to be dominant by a lover. First of all, be honoured! Be very honoured! A man has trusted you enough to share his most hidden desires and fantasies with you. This is huge, since we all know that most men find it very difficult to communicate. So for God's sake, don't panic and loose your head. Of course you are taken aback, but listen to him. If you manage to suspend any judgement, this may very well be one of the most intimate moments you ever share with him. It may also be a start of something new and very special for the both of you. So don't refuse flat out or laugh at him. Most likely he is not asking you to turn into a leather clad, whip wielding dominatrix (and even if he is, would that really be that bad?).
Think about it and be open with yourself. Are you willing to at least consider the option of dominating him? It doesn't have to be full time, but maybe every once in a while. Does it interest you somewhat or not at all? Imagine him doing things for you, such as bringing you breakfast in bed, hoovering the living room, the kind of chores you don't like. One of the benefits of being a Domme means that you will no longer have to, if that is you game. Does that have any appeal? If you find there is absolutely nothing about this that tickles your fancy, then being a Domme is probably not for you. Still, I would say: don't knock it until you try it, but insist that he helps you. After all, he is asking for it, so he must have an idea of what he wants, even if you don't.
I'd also like to direct a few words at the men who are considering asking their lover to become dominant. What you are about to do, is one of the bravest things you have ever done or will ever do. It's wonderful that you put such trust in your partner. But be careful! You are about to confront her with a role in which she most likely never pictured herself. Most likely she will be very surprised that her partner harbours such desires. She may even become upset and feel betrayed that you mention this at the current point of the relationship and blame you that you should have mentioned it earlier. They key here is patience. I can not stress that enough. Be patient. If someone is about to parachute out of a plane for the first time, you don't just push them out of the plane and see how they get on. You instruct them, teach them techniques, tell them what to expect, do tandem jumps and only then do you allow someone to jump solo. A woman who is asked to be dominant is like someone parachuting into completely unknown territory. Don't expect her to know anything about it or understand what she is supposed to do.
Here is where my second piece of advice comes in: C O M M U N I C A T E ! It's not enough to tell her that you'd like her to Domme you. That's a good start, but no more than that. Be very open, answer all her questions and more. Tell her why you want her to do that, tell her how it makes you feel. Tell her that you are there for her and want to help her, if she is willing to experiment. You can not make a woman a Domme against her will no matter how much you want to. She has to at least be open to it. If you've asked her, told her everything she wanted to know and she states that she is not open to it or comfortable with it, you may try and pry why that is. But accept her refusal. Don't push the matter because you'll likely make her even less interested. It's not in everyone. But it could be in the one you asked.
As for me, am I a bitch? Well, if being confident of my abilities, sure of what I expect and not afraid to say it, makes me a bitch, then yes. And in that case I am proud of being a bitch.
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Friday, 9 July 2010
Back (2)
Wednesday I wrote about my "comeback", where I caned Robert just because I felt like doing it. I also told that getting back into our lifestyle, resuming control, made me feel better. I still have this wonderful feeling, this rush of power. For women who are not familiar with this lifestyle, I should say this: it is a wonderful thing to be in charge at home and have a man at your beck and call. I am not one to advocate female supremacy, simply because I don't feel that I am better than men. Our species consists of men and women and they both need each other and depend on each other. Robert is equal to me, yet we choose to act as if he is not.
Anyway, getting off my soapbox for a moment, that is not what I wanted to talk about. I have made it no secret on this weblog, that I am a big fan of orgasm control, chastity and erotic teasing and denial games. My return to power has not only made me feel more bossy than I have felt in a long time, it has also awakened feelings of lust which slept during my illness. Yesterday, I told Robert to meet me in the bedroom and to bring his chastity device with him. I saw him swallow in nervous anticipation before he obeyed me. During my illness, I have let him free and since I was not in a mood to play, I am sure he took "matters into his own hands" on more than one occasion. I can't blame him, he has needs and I was not there for him. Since I am in the process of reasserting my control over him, I decided that he needs to be refocused on my needs, not his.
Obedient as always, Robert joined me in the bedroom together with the wooden box in which we keep his chastity device. I immediately told him to strip down to his panties. He obeyed and I already saw a hint of an erection in the blue satin French knickers he was wearing. I began to massage his cock through the fabric and soon I had him fully erect. I told him to place his hands on his head, which he did immediately. I lowered the knickers to his knees, ordering him to keep them there. He spread his legs further and his hard member, completely shaved, was now alone in mid air, open on all sides. I proceeded my massage of his cock, going slowly and pushing all his buttons. The poor boy was trembling in excitement but did his best to remain still. I questioned him about the time when I was not in control, asking him if he had masturbated? He confessed he had. Whether he had achieved orgasms? Again he confessed that he had. Still continuing my slow stroking, I told him that I understood and that I was not angry. That seemed to relax him a bit. Next, I told him that I was planning to refocus him on my needs again, and not his own. That seemed to make him a bit nervous again, but he did not speak. The massage of his cock was still going on and by now he was in quite a desperate state. I saw that he was ready to squirt, so I stopped my manipulations. His poor cock stood there, erect, throbbing and twitching, aching for more. A wonderful sight that always brings a smile to my face. He was panting in desperation, holding back any spillage because I had not given him permission to orgasm.
I explained to him that this refocusing would involve him being locked in chastity at least until July 31. I normally don't use the chastity device for long periods, so this surprised him a bit. I looked at him from my position on the edge of the bed and he looked back. He hesitated only a moment before he replied that if that was my wish, he would accept. His answer pleased me enormously. I felt very proud of him to trust me like this again, after our long dry spell. With my right hand, I began stimulating him again, slowly, teasingly. I told him that I was going to milk him before his lock up began. He thanked me with gasping breath and I saw he was getting close. I know his little signals by now and can play him very well. I raised my left hand and formed a cup with it under his cock head. As soon as he passed the point of no return, I stopped my stimulation, pointing his cock towards the cup of my left hand. With a deep, frustrated sigh, he "came" into my hand. Or rather, his seminal fluid dribbled out and formed a puddle in the palm of my hand. He thanked me as he knelt down and cleaned up his mess with his tongue. I know he hates the taste, but we both love the submissive act of him licking up his semen.
After this little pleasure for him, he was quickly secured in his chastity device and his knickers were hoisted up again. Then it was time for my pleasure. I installed Robert between my knees for a long, thorough session of oral service. Ah, it's good to be in charge!
Anyway, getting off my soapbox for a moment, that is not what I wanted to talk about. I have made it no secret on this weblog, that I am a big fan of orgasm control, chastity and erotic teasing and denial games. My return to power has not only made me feel more bossy than I have felt in a long time, it has also awakened feelings of lust which slept during my illness. Yesterday, I told Robert to meet me in the bedroom and to bring his chastity device with him. I saw him swallow in nervous anticipation before he obeyed me. During my illness, I have let him free and since I was not in a mood to play, I am sure he took "matters into his own hands" on more than one occasion. I can't blame him, he has needs and I was not there for him. Since I am in the process of reasserting my control over him, I decided that he needs to be refocused on my needs, not his.
Obedient as always, Robert joined me in the bedroom together with the wooden box in which we keep his chastity device. I immediately told him to strip down to his panties. He obeyed and I already saw a hint of an erection in the blue satin French knickers he was wearing. I began to massage his cock through the fabric and soon I had him fully erect. I told him to place his hands on his head, which he did immediately. I lowered the knickers to his knees, ordering him to keep them there. He spread his legs further and his hard member, completely shaved, was now alone in mid air, open on all sides. I proceeded my massage of his cock, going slowly and pushing all his buttons. The poor boy was trembling in excitement but did his best to remain still. I questioned him about the time when I was not in control, asking him if he had masturbated? He confessed he had. Whether he had achieved orgasms? Again he confessed that he had. Still continuing my slow stroking, I told him that I understood and that I was not angry. That seemed to relax him a bit. Next, I told him that I was planning to refocus him on my needs again, and not his own. That seemed to make him a bit nervous again, but he did not speak. The massage of his cock was still going on and by now he was in quite a desperate state. I saw that he was ready to squirt, so I stopped my manipulations. His poor cock stood there, erect, throbbing and twitching, aching for more. A wonderful sight that always brings a smile to my face. He was panting in desperation, holding back any spillage because I had not given him permission to orgasm.
I explained to him that this refocusing would involve him being locked in chastity at least until July 31. I normally don't use the chastity device for long periods, so this surprised him a bit. I looked at him from my position on the edge of the bed and he looked back. He hesitated only a moment before he replied that if that was my wish, he would accept. His answer pleased me enormously. I felt very proud of him to trust me like this again, after our long dry spell. With my right hand, I began stimulating him again, slowly, teasingly. I told him that I was going to milk him before his lock up began. He thanked me with gasping breath and I saw he was getting close. I know his little signals by now and can play him very well. I raised my left hand and formed a cup with it under his cock head. As soon as he passed the point of no return, I stopped my stimulation, pointing his cock towards the cup of my left hand. With a deep, frustrated sigh, he "came" into my hand. Or rather, his seminal fluid dribbled out and formed a puddle in the palm of my hand. He thanked me as he knelt down and cleaned up his mess with his tongue. I know he hates the taste, but we both love the submissive act of him licking up his semen.
After this little pleasure for him, he was quickly secured in his chastity device and his knickers were hoisted up again. Then it was time for my pleasure. I installed Robert between my knees for a long, thorough session of oral service. Ah, it's good to be in charge!
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Back
I'm sorry that I have been away from this weblog for such a long time and without explanation. I realize that if you want to have a weblog, you have to keep it up. I was even beginning to gather a small following, much to my own surprise.
The fact of the matter is that I have been ill, very ill. I won't go into details regarding my illness but I will say that I had so little energy that I was not even able to write here. I just had no inspiration. I have also not been in much of a Domme mood, meaning that there was little to no play at our home.
My doctor tells me that I am getting better and on the road to full recovery. I'll get there in due time. And the good news is that I do feel much better than a few months ago. I have more energy and also my sexual and Domme feelings are coming back.
The last few months have not been easy on Robert, my boy, either. He missed me being me and the power exchange that normally exists between us. He took care of me better than any nurse I could imagine and he did so without a single complaint. It pained me that I could not be there for his needs and my own, to be honest.
Two days ago, I decided it was time to make my comeback. To Robert's considerable surprise, I told him to fetch the cane. He blinked, stunned after months of not getting so much as a single spank, but he obeyed. Before he knew it, it was panties down over the armrest of the sofa. When I saw his upturned bottom presented before me and I felt the familiar grip of the cane in the palm of my hand, I realized how much I had missed being in control. When I told him to fetch the cane, I had decided to make it 12 strokes. At that moment, I decided that I would make it 12 very worthwhile strokes. I told Robert to prepare for a strict caning. He just nodded. With each stroke and each yelp and squirm of him, I felt better. I had so missed doing this! The 12 strokes left 12 beautiful lines on his white flesh. I told him it was over but instead of getting up off the sofa, he sort of slid of sideways, hugged me around the waist while kneeling in front of me, pressed his head against my body and just whispered "Welcome back".
As I watched him putting on his panties this morning as he got ready for work, I smiled at the slowly fading marks on his bottom, clearly visible from underneath the tiny panties. It felt good to be back.
The fact of the matter is that I have been ill, very ill. I won't go into details regarding my illness but I will say that I had so little energy that I was not even able to write here. I just had no inspiration. I have also not been in much of a Domme mood, meaning that there was little to no play at our home.
My doctor tells me that I am getting better and on the road to full recovery. I'll get there in due time. And the good news is that I do feel much better than a few months ago. I have more energy and also my sexual and Domme feelings are coming back.
The last few months have not been easy on Robert, my boy, either. He missed me being me and the power exchange that normally exists between us. He took care of me better than any nurse I could imagine and he did so without a single complaint. It pained me that I could not be there for his needs and my own, to be honest.
Two days ago, I decided it was time to make my comeback. To Robert's considerable surprise, I told him to fetch the cane. He blinked, stunned after months of not getting so much as a single spank, but he obeyed. Before he knew it, it was panties down over the armrest of the sofa. When I saw his upturned bottom presented before me and I felt the familiar grip of the cane in the palm of my hand, I realized how much I had missed being in control. When I told him to fetch the cane, I had decided to make it 12 strokes. At that moment, I decided that I would make it 12 very worthwhile strokes. I told Robert to prepare for a strict caning. He just nodded. With each stroke and each yelp and squirm of him, I felt better. I had so missed doing this! The 12 strokes left 12 beautiful lines on his white flesh. I told him it was over but instead of getting up off the sofa, he sort of slid of sideways, hugged me around the waist while kneeling in front of me, pressed his head against my body and just whispered "Welcome back".
As I watched him putting on his panties this morning as he got ready for work, I smiled at the slowly fading marks on his bottom, clearly visible from underneath the tiny panties. It felt good to be back.
Friday, 25 September 2009
Frusturbation
Don't worry, you have not missed an update to the dictionary. Frusturbation is not an existing word (not to my knowledge at least), but it is a word that clearly describes a favorite activity of mine: masturbation for the sole purpose of increasing his frustration. That of course implies he is not allowed to cum. In fact, he won't even be allowed a ruined orgasm, all the cum stays where it belongs: inside his body.
There are so many techniques that can be used to make this very, very challenging for the boy in question that it is actually hard to describe. It also depends on the sensation I want him to have or how evil I am feeling. If I am feeling generous, I will tie him down to his bed while I play with his cock for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least an hour. Not non-stop mind you, because that will likely push him over the edge and cause him to spill his semen. That's not what we want! We want to increase his frustration. However, most of the time, I will not be feeling so generous and he will have to work to increase his own frustration.
A favourite for this is to just have him kneel in front of me naked and play with himself to my instructions. I will tell him to speed up, to slow down, to squeeze his penis harder or to just flick it with his fingers. As he is busy, I tease him with questions whether he would like to cum or not, how good it will feel if he is allowed to squirt. All the while, I keep him in the dark about if he will be allowed to cum or not. Sometimes, when he has worked very hard to please me during a session like this, I will allow him to cum. Most of the time however, I don't allow it or will just allow him to ruin his orgasm. But allowing him these infrequent orgasms, encourages him to perform as well as he can, because he will never know if he won't get to cum today.
Other times, when I don't want to spend a lot of time instructing him and seeing his balls bob up and down in front of me, I will tie him down to a chair and leave just his non-dominant hand untied. I will allow him to watch a porn movie like this (but only a movie that features submissive men) and he must continue stimulation throughout the entire movie. Since he is tied down, he is unable to hide any "accidents" from me and he knows that he will be punished soundly if there are any accidents! It's especially challenging with a vibrating butt plug added into the mix!
If I feel he needs some kind of punishment or just a general reminder of his status, I will add something special to the mix: Tiger balm for instance. I will first instruct him to apply a generous dose of the balm to his penis and also his balls. Then, he must begin stroking. Within a few minutes, the ointment will start to burn and irritate his very sensitive parts. It's a lot of fun to watch him squirm and wriggle in a hopeless effort to find relief from the burn. If I am feeling particularly evil that day, I will make him apply the Tiger balm a second or third time. There is such relief when I tell him he may stop stroking. His cock will be swollen and very tender after a while.
During one of these frusturbation-sessions, I always insist that he is gagged. I don't want to hear his begging, pleading and moaning. He may beg me for release by his eyes alone. For extra 'fun' the gag will be a penis gag. :-)
Another thing that I insist upon is that at the end of the session, he consumes everything that his penis has leaked (unless he's been using the Tiger balm of course). He must lick his hands clean of any dribble and if any landed on the floor, he'd better get on all fours and get his tongue to work. He finds that last bit very embarrassing, but of course he made the mess, so he needs to clean it up.
Oh, I almost forgot one important detail: if he has not been allowed to cum during the frusturbation session, I usually lock him in his chastity device for a while. After all, we don't want him to cheat, do we? Have fun trying this on your boy, if you like! Or if you are boy, make sure your Domme reads this post!
There are so many techniques that can be used to make this very, very challenging for the boy in question that it is actually hard to describe. It also depends on the sensation I want him to have or how evil I am feeling. If I am feeling generous, I will tie him down to his bed while I play with his cock for a long time. And when I say a long time, I mean at least an hour. Not non-stop mind you, because that will likely push him over the edge and cause him to spill his semen. That's not what we want! We want to increase his frustration. However, most of the time, I will not be feeling so generous and he will have to work to increase his own frustration.
A favourite for this is to just have him kneel in front of me naked and play with himself to my instructions. I will tell him to speed up, to slow down, to squeeze his penis harder or to just flick it with his fingers. As he is busy, I tease him with questions whether he would like to cum or not, how good it will feel if he is allowed to squirt. All the while, I keep him in the dark about if he will be allowed to cum or not. Sometimes, when he has worked very hard to please me during a session like this, I will allow him to cum. Most of the time however, I don't allow it or will just allow him to ruin his orgasm. But allowing him these infrequent orgasms, encourages him to perform as well as he can, because he will never know if he won't get to cum today.
Other times, when I don't want to spend a lot of time instructing him and seeing his balls bob up and down in front of me, I will tie him down to a chair and leave just his non-dominant hand untied. I will allow him to watch a porn movie like this (but only a movie that features submissive men) and he must continue stimulation throughout the entire movie. Since he is tied down, he is unable to hide any "accidents" from me and he knows that he will be punished soundly if there are any accidents! It's especially challenging with a vibrating butt plug added into the mix!
If I feel he needs some kind of punishment or just a general reminder of his status, I will add something special to the mix: Tiger balm for instance. I will first instruct him to apply a generous dose of the balm to his penis and also his balls. Then, he must begin stroking. Within a few minutes, the ointment will start to burn and irritate his very sensitive parts. It's a lot of fun to watch him squirm and wriggle in a hopeless effort to find relief from the burn. If I am feeling particularly evil that day, I will make him apply the Tiger balm a second or third time. There is such relief when I tell him he may stop stroking. His cock will be swollen and very tender after a while.
During one of these frusturbation-sessions, I always insist that he is gagged. I don't want to hear his begging, pleading and moaning. He may beg me for release by his eyes alone. For extra 'fun' the gag will be a penis gag. :-)
Another thing that I insist upon is that at the end of the session, he consumes everything that his penis has leaked (unless he's been using the Tiger balm of course). He must lick his hands clean of any dribble and if any landed on the floor, he'd better get on all fours and get his tongue to work. He finds that last bit very embarrassing, but of course he made the mess, so he needs to clean it up.
Oh, I almost forgot one important detail: if he has not been allowed to cum during the frusturbation session, I usually lock him in his chastity device for a while. After all, we don't want him to cheat, do we? Have fun trying this on your boy, if you like! Or if you are boy, make sure your Domme reads this post!
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Submission
A short comment I left on "The Training blog of Mark", got me thinking about submission a bit more. In it, I was speaking about submission and the different levels of submission that exist, according to me at least. I'm not claiming to have written the book on submission or to have invented the proper definition of it. But roughly speaking I think there exist three levels of submission. I will specify them below.
As on the weblog I mentioned, I'd like to close by saying the following:
Disclaimer: the above babble is just my opinion and no correctness or usefulness is implied.
Okay class, discuss!
- Obedience
This is the most basic level of submission. A boy is given an order or instruction and carries it out. Very basic, very unchallenging and also uninteresting, in my opinion. However, that doesn't mean that obedience is not required of a boy, no matter of how advanced a submissive he is. - Servitude
I don't know if I am completely happy with the term servitude, but for me it covers something more than mere obedience. Servitude implies a willingness to serve, not merely doing as you're told but also trying to please. Obedience is passive, servitude requires being more active. It also implies a certain level of trying to anticipate the needs and wishes of the Domme. To serve is more than to obey. - Humility
Humility literally means to place yourself lower than someone else, to make yourself more acceptable to another person. It is the highest form of submission that implies valuing other's wishes and demands higher than your own, even if those wishes run counter to your own. It is the most advanced form of submission and the one that runs deepest. It requires much more than obedience or servitude.
As on the weblog I mentioned, I'd like to close by saying the following:
Disclaimer: the above babble is just my opinion and no correctness or usefulness is implied.
Okay class, discuss!
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
On spanking
In our home, there are essentially three kinds of spanking. Not that they are so clearly separated all the time, but on the whole, it is quite easy for us to keep them separated.
- Punishment spanking
Fairly obvious what these are, I would say. Robert has messed up in some way or form and I make sure he learns his lesson. I do my best to make these spankings as memorable as possible for him and that does involve a good deal of bruises and difficulty sitting. They are also quite ritualized and are definitely not fun for him or for me, really. I'd rather not have to punish him. They are usually short, sharp and intensely painful. - Therapeutic spanking
Perhaps hard for some people to understand, but a good spanking can actually help Robert to relax. Sometimes, when the poor thing comes home after a stressful day at work, I can just tell he needs one. Like others need a back rub, Robert needs some good swats to the extreme lower end of his back. While these spankings obviously hurt (every spanking causes some amount of pain), they are not nearly as painful as a punishment spanking. The relaxing effect is caused by endorphins released into the bloodstream as a result of the pain. Endorphins are natural opiates, which of course help to relax the muscles and the mind. Think of a therapeutic spanking as a very intense massage and you won't be far off. - Fun spanking
These are probably the hardest for others to understand. How can a spanking be fun? Well, they certainly are not always fun for Robert in the sense that he does not enjoy them, though on some level he does. Fun spankings are very much fun for me, obviously. For Robert they range from mildly painful and a rosy backside to nearly the same intensity as a punishment spanking...or even more. Why does a fun spanking hurt more than a punishment spanking, you may ask. Well, maybe you are not going to ask, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Robert likes to be challenged on occasion, and I like to challenge him. I like to see how far I can push him, how red and sore I can make him before he desires to stop. In a way, he loves to suffer for me, he wants to accept the pain I inflict on his backside, not because he was bad, but because he knows how much I enjoy spanking him. He takes pride in accepting the spanking, in the marks I leave on his bottom and he loves the way the spanking underlines his position. He enjoys going to work and feeling the warmth and soreness all day as he sits down. He says it makes him feel close to me. Nobody knows about the pink panties under his trousers, the bruises on his bottom but me and him. It creates an intimate bond, sharing that secret and living our secret lives.
The picture included with this post, I found on the weblog "Over her knee". I hope the artist does not mind me using this delightful image as an illustration for my post. Should you mind, please let me know and I will remove it. It is not my intent to steal other's work.
Monday, 14 September 2009
The joy of orgasm control
For those that know about my lifestyle (and that's not a large number of people), it is no secret that I am very fond of orgasm control. I say orgasm control and not orgasm denial, because I don't believe in (total) orgasm denial. While women seem to have no biological need to have orgasms (not that we don't like them!), for the male body it is necessary to expel semen on a fairly regular basis. There seems to be sufficient medical information that indicates it is necessary to maintain prostate health. And indeed, who needs a bunch of stale "swimmers"? Of course nature has taken care of that and even without any form of stimulation a deprived male will experience spontaneous nightly emissions.
And that, I say, is a complete waste. Why bother with spontaneous nightly emissions when you can instead take charge of his emissions? Don't let him or nature determine when he can expel his semen, but take control as a Domme. Have him cum if, when and how you wish. It is necessary for a man to expel his semen fairly regularly, but nowhere does it say that he must do so by orgasm, at least not a full orgasm. This offers us an interesting option to explore.
I think every Domme out there has experienced that no matter how submissive a boy is, as soon as he has cum, his submission drops. The opposite is also true. Things a boy normally would have difficulty with, become acceptable when he is sufficiently aroused. There are two ways to deal with this. One is to wait until his arousal is high again. The other is to ensure that his arousal does not drop, so his submission remains high. In practice, I use a combination of the two, but with emphasis on the latter. While Robert (my "boy" or submissive) does get to cum fully and completely on occasion, I tend to limit this to special days or special treats or just because I feel generous. For example, his last full orgasm was on August 28. Since that date, all other orgasms have been ruined orgasms. This has the distinct benefit that he gets to expel his semen and there's no lazy batch of stale "swimmers" clogging up the plumbing, while simultaneously not allowing him to achieve a full orgasm and denying him satisfaction. There's hardly any dip in his submission because his brain has not experienced an orgasm. Therefore his physical health is not endangered. I am not making any assurances about his mental health, though...
In theory, a boy would never have to experience a full orgasm this way and I am sure that there are some boys who never get beyond a ruined orgasm. However, I find this too severe. I like to see Robert orgasm for me and I like to give him permission to do so. He must earn it at times and I may deny him for a few days, but what would his incentive be to serve me well if I never allowed him to cum to his full satisfaction? I also love to hear him ask for permission to cum. But why would he honestly ask, beg and plead if I never allow him his pleasure? He knows that there is always a chance that I will allow it, even though I may put a condition on it.
I plan to write more about orgasm control in the future, describing techniques that I like to use and my experiences with them. I will also discuss Roberts response to them. In return, I'd love to hear the techniques used by other Dommes out there. Do you deny your subs, and if so how long? What are your favourite techniques, etc. Or, if you are a boy under orgasm control, please let me know how it is working for you and what you must endure.
And that, I say, is a complete waste. Why bother with spontaneous nightly emissions when you can instead take charge of his emissions? Don't let him or nature determine when he can expel his semen, but take control as a Domme. Have him cum if, when and how you wish. It is necessary for a man to expel his semen fairly regularly, but nowhere does it say that he must do so by orgasm, at least not a full orgasm. This offers us an interesting option to explore.
I think every Domme out there has experienced that no matter how submissive a boy is, as soon as he has cum, his submission drops. The opposite is also true. Things a boy normally would have difficulty with, become acceptable when he is sufficiently aroused. There are two ways to deal with this. One is to wait until his arousal is high again. The other is to ensure that his arousal does not drop, so his submission remains high. In practice, I use a combination of the two, but with emphasis on the latter. While Robert (my "boy" or submissive) does get to cum fully and completely on occasion, I tend to limit this to special days or special treats or just because I feel generous. For example, his last full orgasm was on August 28. Since that date, all other orgasms have been ruined orgasms. This has the distinct benefit that he gets to expel his semen and there's no lazy batch of stale "swimmers" clogging up the plumbing, while simultaneously not allowing him to achieve a full orgasm and denying him satisfaction. There's hardly any dip in his submission because his brain has not experienced an orgasm. Therefore his physical health is not endangered. I am not making any assurances about his mental health, though...
In theory, a boy would never have to experience a full orgasm this way and I am sure that there are some boys who never get beyond a ruined orgasm. However, I find this too severe. I like to see Robert orgasm for me and I like to give him permission to do so. He must earn it at times and I may deny him for a few days, but what would his incentive be to serve me well if I never allowed him to cum to his full satisfaction? I also love to hear him ask for permission to cum. But why would he honestly ask, beg and plead if I never allow him his pleasure? He knows that there is always a chance that I will allow it, even though I may put a condition on it.
I plan to write more about orgasm control in the future, describing techniques that I like to use and my experiences with them. I will also discuss Roberts response to them. In return, I'd love to hear the techniques used by other Dommes out there. Do you deny your subs, and if so how long? What are your favourite techniques, etc. Or, if you are a boy under orgasm control, please let me know how it is working for you and what you must endure.
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